In conflict, people often do not think they have an option but to fight, freeze,or walk away. But, in fact there are many ways to address disagreement. One is to slow down and first process what in fact the conflict is all about and then address how it can be solved. For couples who are contemplating divorce or breakup, discernment counseling may provide such a framework. It is a short term commitment that focuses on deciding whether or not to end the marriage/relationship. (Marriage or couples counseling, on the other hand, is an open ended process that aims to help people work through their problems to improve the marriage /relationship.) The discernment counselor will focus the clients on three options: staying in the marriage/relationship as it is, moving towards a divorce/separation, or working toward reconciliation (that may include more traditional couples counseling). Success in discernment counseling is tied to deeper understanding of oneself and the marriage– which then opens the door to decsionmaking.