Abby understands how disorienting conflict can be and is skilled at working with people who feel misunderstood, ignored or dismissed.
Abby is a divorce coach (also known as "family specialist") for clients engaged in the Collaborative process, provides supportive psycho-educational services to people in mediation, and can participate as part of legal team for people who are in the midst of a litigated conflict.
She counsels people who are seeking to enhance their ability to manage interpersonal conflict – be it at the office, at home, or with an extended family member. Conflict coaching can help people who want to prevent an unnecessary conflict, preempt the escalation of disagreement, develop a more robust ability to engage in conflict more effectively, or who need to manage a problematic situation independently (such as when, for example, the other person does not want to participate in mediation).
As a Collaborative divorce coach, Abby works on a team with attorneys and often a financial neutral to help couples and families reach resolution in a respectful and safe forum without going to court. Divorce can require a giant leap in self-control and the ability to control reactivity. While attorneys focus on resolving the legal issues, Abby focuses her work on the attitudinal, emotional, behavioral and child-related concerns.
Generally, clients seek Abby’s conflict coaching services because they are interested in:
participating in the Collaborative process
preparing for a challenging conversation
preventing the escalation of a particular dispute — it could be one that is current or one that has been lingering from the past
gaining perspective on the thoughts, feelings and actions of the other person
navigating through oft competing advice from friends, family, lawyer, etc.
better understanding and managing unproductive reactions
developing new behaviors and language to pursue satisfying relationship(s)
understanding relational dynamics, including the characteristics of the the people involved and the circumstances
adjusting to change in circumstances
developing additional competencies in order to effectively participate in mediation or litigation.
Abby also helps people in the workplace enhance their ability for interpersonal dialogue, performance, and leadership. She tailors her work so that specific and manageable goals are established that take into account cognitive and emotional status as well as employment expectations.
While not therapy (coaching is not the treatment of a mental condition and would not, for instance, include a diagnosis), Abby does draw on a variety of strategies to help clients appropriately manage expectations, recognize barriers and engage strengths.
Abby has been trained by Olivia Mellan, a therapist who is a leader in the field of money psychology, in her Money Harmony approach to money psychology and money conflict resolution.
She can meet clients in Westchester or Manhattan.
As a parenting coordinator, Abby acts as neutral facilitator to help parents make decisions about child-related concerns. Parenting coordination can be used to address a wide variety of issues, including scheduling, communication, coordination of parenting efforts, relocation, and/or compliance with an established parenting plan. The scope of services may adjusted depending on the circumstances.
The goal of parenting coordination is to reduce friction and litigation by addressing parenting problems and work towards improved communication. Difficulties may relate to ongoing conflict, ambiguities in the parenting plan, evolving family needs, and/or the influence of other family members. Abby works from a strengths-based approach that promotes making child-centered decisions and maintaining family stability.
Parents may employ Abby’s services to address a pressing need or to anticipate issues. A provision for her services may be included in an agreement or a court order as a safeguard to address parenting conflicts should they arise in the future. Parents, as well as the court in some instances, can direct Abby to make decisions in the event that the parents cannot.
Abby is a certified presenter of the NYS Court Parent Education Awareness Program and is approved to offer the GOODTALK4PARENTS program provided through FamilyKind. This program focuses on helping co-parents create effective, productive and consistent communication for the benefit of their children. Please visit www.FamilyKind.org for more information about this program and many other services offered by FamilyKind.