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  • Abby Rosmarin


A droplet of water, while seemingly perfectly contained, transforms when it adheres to all other droplets before. The old status quo is no more and the ripples created drive a new paradigm.

Likewise, a unilateral decision, such as a decision to divorce, while self contained, can, when shared, create a destabilizing swell. Reactions can vary from disbelief, denial, active resistance, panic and anger. Under such circumstances, it may be hard to know what to expect, how to react, and how to behave. Not prime conditions to consider long range options.

Having prepared (albeit often in private ) and ready for change, it often feels like it can't happen fast enough! While speed may seem like a driving factor now that the decision has been made -- speed alone, without proper direction -- can be counterproductive to ultimate goals (for example, successful coparenting, emotional stability and preservation of assets). Standing alone, speed is a flash flood.

Sometimes the most productive path forward is to focus on the proper direction while acknowledging the need for speed.

Under such circumstance, interim agreements regarding housing arrangements, parenting or finances could be negotiated. In this way, prompt action is taken while allowing controlled and incremental adjustments to a new reality.


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